Now it is called being “extra,” but before I knew that, I had made up my own term for the way I felt compelled to bring my giant whole self to EVERYTHING I encountered–even the things that didn’t really need it! I called this tendency my “too-much-ness” and I spent my life–and my life in God–learning how to manage it! In the safe space of being vulnerable here on the internet, (what?) I will tell you that most of the embarrassments and rejections of my life stem from mismanagement of my too-much-ness! Some people call it overkill–I called it healthy passion–until I realized people were laughing at me for answering a simple life question with a paragraph on fractal geometry or stating my simple faith in terms of quantum physics!
I have come a long way (and been trained by the Master Communicator) in leaning to manage my energies and my over-active soul! I have learned which bait not to take and I can actually eek out simple answers without the need to express my colorful, authentic self on every single blank canvas of life! AND THAT HAS BEEN A GREAT JOURNEY! The Holy Spirit is a best-Friend-Coach and He absolutely knows how to find the right thing to communicate for the right moment! Think about it: He has the entirety of the Godhead at His disposal and He never misses the mark in bringing forth exactly what is needed for any moment/audience/opportunity….THAT is some inner world management beyond compare!
BUT, as much as I value the maturity I gained, I still want to shout the other side just a little bit! Though He never overplays His hand or makes a misstep in His handling of it, GOD IS WAY TOO MUCH!! I am in good company in my too-much-ness because I am a reflection of a Creator that exceeds the limits our minds put on Him–always! If we think we have Him figured out or handled, we are headed for new disturbances in our tidy grid! Somewhat like Schrodinger’s cat, divinity switches forms the minute we box it up! “Live” relationship becomes “dead” yesterday stuff when we contain it in our mere human observation!
So, by all means, if you are the possessor of too-much-ness (that is, if you are somewhat EXTRA), learn how to steward it towards destiny rather than dissipate it toward a mere “I’ll show you!” self-expression! BUT, IF, perhaps, you have had shame thrown at you by others who were intimidated by their own comparison to you (their sense of “not-enough-ness”?), be sure to shake that off too! God supplies us all at all times with HIS OWN too-much-ness. We should be expected to overflow our banks from time to time! Read Ephesians 3:20 if you need convincing…